7 Signs He's Ready For Marriage (And 3 Signs He's Not)

Have time to read this meme...

Reality bites, hahaha!

Some men plop down on their knee and ask the magical "Will you marry me" question within a year of dating, while some are still taking things slow after five. It's hard to put a time stamp on everything, least of all relationships. And there's no right or wrong standard -->

But as you're waiting for your guy to pop the question, how do you know that he's really in it for the long haul? Look for these signs that say he's ready to spend the rest of his life with you.

1. He's keen on couple time

If he's ditching time with the guys in favor of being with you, it's a sign that he's strongly committed to the relationship. It's not healthy to spend 24/7 together though, so there should be some balance between spending time with you and having outside interests to focus on.

2. He respects you

Does he listen to what you have to say? Is he willing to compromise to keep you happy? These are signs that he's respectful of you and cares about your feelings.

3. You're making long term plans together

When he discusses his future, does he speak solely about himself or include you in his potential plans? If he's talking more about "me" than "us", it suggests that he's not thinking about your relationship in the long term. If you're already actively making long term plans like buying a home, rest assured that most men won't want to enter into this kind of commitment without being completely sure that you're going to stay together.

4. He's getting his finances in order

Men often like to be financially secure before they feel comfortable making a long term commitment so if he's started looking at pension plans and other long term financial provisions, there's a good chance that he's preparing for a future that doesn't only involve himself.

5. You're always on the guest list for family events

Regularly being invited to spend time with his close family is a sign that he wants you to be involved in his world. Most guys wait until they're sure that the relationship has a future before they start introducing you to family and friends so it's a promising sign if you're a regular fixture at family gatherings. On a similar note, it's a good sign if he's also making a big effort to be involved with your family and friends as it shows that he wants both of you to play an important role in each other's lives.

6. He does a lot of the running

Does he take the initiative a lot in the relationship or is it you who's doing all of the work?

7. His friends are settling down

Peer pressure can be a big factor in influencing when a man is ready to make a long term commitment. If most or all of his friends are making trips down the aisle, he may decide that it's high time he did the same.

LOVE?

"Love in Reality..."

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who loved us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.

Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more. The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back.

Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may found peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship. Don't be so bitter about it! For it is a kind of friendship that will last for a lifetime.

We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.

Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make it
sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you.

Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. "When I lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that I loved you. But you will never be loved again.

"Irony of Loving"

When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them. At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone. Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are desperately waiting for the call! At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from that special someone than other many long e-mails, you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the messages in your answering machine because of one message from that special someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of that special someone. Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend", but you realize that you cannot avoid that person's special attraction. At that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this page, if someone appears in your mind, then u are in love with that person.

8 DatiNg MistAkes EvEn SmArt WomEn MakE

So funny that I’ve catch this article from yahoo site. It’s so weird that I can relate with it, damn! But then, I was trying to figure out some of these things… and I can tell, yeah right!

Now girls, read!



Dating Mistake #1:

Being Too Available

We’re not suggesting you play games, but we are telling you to indulge your passions and resist the urge to abandon your social circle every time your new man sends an invitation. Take Sebastian, 34, from Chicago, for example: “When I was single, there were women I initially liked who seemed to be waiting by the phone for me to call, which let me know if I didn’t meet someone else I wanted to date, I had a standby. There just wasn’t anything to work for, and that turned me off,” he says. The more you engage in and enjoy your life, the more he’ll work to be a part of it.


Dating Mistake #2:

Trying to Rehabilitate a Bad Boy

Ending a relationship is rarely easy, and though flying solo might not be your long-term goal, being on your own is better than feeling alone in a relationship with someone who treats you poorly. Even when it might be tempting to give a toxic romance one more try, knowing when to cut your losses and move on leaves you available and baggage-free when the right guy comes along.


Dating Mistake #3:

Looking for Perfection

Encouraging you to settle isn’t our style, but separating your desires from your deal-breakers can give your love life a major upgrade. “There are some qualities that your mate must have—being honest, for example—and others, such as movie-star looks, that should be thrown in the would-be-nice category,” says Elizabeth R. Lombardo, Ph.D., author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. “Sit down and realistically figure out what characteristics are nonnegotiable and then be open-minded about the rest.”


Dating Mistake #4:

Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Resist the urge to bemoan your single status (which will only make him wonder why you find yourself such terrible company) and use this time to date yourself. Taking a dance class at the local studio, hitting up the exhibit you have been aching to see and trying out the new wine bar on the corner will not only offer you the chance to have more fun but will also leave you more likely to meet someone who shares your interests. So much better than sitting in your apartment waiting for someone to “wink” at your online profile picture, isn’t it? Another bonus? You’ll have far more interesting things to talk about over dinner than what your boss made you do on your lunch break last Friday.


Dating Mistake #5:

Knowing His Thread-Count Before You Know His Phone Number

Getting it on with a sexy stranger is your natural-born right, but according to many guys, it can be the wrong move if you’re looking for long-term love.
Follow the advice of super-sexy leading man Gilles Marini (he was Samantha’s sexy neighbor in Sex and the City: The Movie): “Men love women who respect themselves and who do not rush into bed with them but instead go on a few dates, where they can start to gain an understanding of each other and then decide whether or not to take things further. Women need to know that taking it slow and getting to know one another is the best way to get into a good relationship,” he says.


Dating Mistake #6:

Being Too Selfish in Your Relationship
One of the downsides of being independent is that it can lead to some self-absorbed tendencies—a huge turnoff for men looking for a serious relationship, says Ming Gregory, a professional matchmaker at Color Blind International Dating Service. So make sure you’re giving as much as you’re receiving in your next relationship. “A partnership involves two people who share mutual interests and mutually benefit one another,” she says. “It’s not just about what being with him can provide you; it’s about how you can come together to complement each other.”


Dating Mistake #7:

Believing in The One

“A lot of women make dating more difficult by placing so much pressure on themselves to find the one-and-only-man-in-a-billion they believe is right for them,” says Ali, 35, from Gaithersburg, Maryland.Instead of convincing yourself the ex you dumped was your soul mate or that perfect-but-married co-worker was your one that got away, take a cue from our male counterparts and approach the dating scene with the idea that there are plenty of men who are capable of making you laugh, sharing your values and melting your heart, and you’re going to have fun with several of them until you find one worthy of your commitment.


Dating Mistake #8:

Forgetting Your Manners

We can’t imagine this is something you’d ever do, but a little reminder never hurts: Say thank you.“Good manners have become so old-fashioned that men now wait for the thank-you at the end of the date as a way to see if she’s worth seeing again,” says Brian, 30, from New York City. “I don’t care if the woman looks like Kate Beckinsale and has a Ph.D.; if she can’t be bothered to utter those two little words, I am never calling her again.”




by Glamour Magazine, on Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:57am PDT

5 Signs He Isn't Over His Ex

Have some time to read...got this over the net and wanna share it.

whew, just dealing with the same damn problem!




How to tell if a guy is still hanging onto his old relationship – and what you can do to help him move on.

Do you ever get the feeling that there are three people in your relationship – you, your guy and his ex? Does he still talk or email with her often? Or maybe he holds an unhealthy grudge, or seems preoccupied with what she’s doing now? If any of these scenarios sound familiar, it may mean that he hasn’t completely let go yet. How can you tell if he’s not really over his ex? Tina B. Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage offers five warning signs:

1. He wasted no time before jumping into his next relationship. If you started dating this guy shortly after his latest breakup, there’s a good chance he’s not completely over his ex – no matter what he says. “There are hopes and dreams we have when we get into a relationship that we lose when we lose that relationship,” says Tessina. “It takes some time [to get over those things].” She points out that men often avoid the grieving process that follows a breakup, even though it can be instrumental in helping them assess the relationship and move on. “You want to be sure he can talk about it – that he can analyze it a little bit, and can say what went wrong and what went right and what part he played in what went wrong.” But even if he isn’t quite there, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. As Tessina explains, “It just means you need to understand that he still has some processing to do, and he’s probably going to do some of it with you.”

Read Should You Friend Exes on Facebook?
2. He fell for you before his relationship ended. These are men like John Edwards and Tiger Woods, who tell you their previous relationships are over or broken, but they still go home to their wives or girlfriends. It sounds obvious, but these guys are bad news. “It doesn’t matter if he says the relationship is bad,” Tessina says. “He has a cheating mentality.” And if he cheats on her, he probably wouldn’t have a problem with cheating on you. Even if he does eventually leave his wife or girlfriend – a very big if, by the way -- and you’re willing to give it a go with this guy, he literally hasn’t had any time on his own to process the demise of that previous relationship so you could run into the same problems as in #1, above. Bottom line: This is probably not someone you want to be with.

3. When it comes to his ex, he only deals in extremes. If your new guy can’t say his ex’s name without spitting, this is another warning sign. “If he’s talking about her constantly, and she’s either the most wonderful thing in the world or the most terrible thing in the world, but it’s unrealistic, you need to ask him about his role in the relationship,” says Tessina. There are two people in every couple, and there’s no way his ex was as great or awful as he makes her sound. “If he’s not talking about it at all, you need to say ‘I think it’s valuable to for us to talk about our past relationships so we can see what went wrong and what we need to do differently in this relationship.’”

4. He can’t break the string. There are plenty of reasons a guy may stay in touch with his ex, and they aren’t necessarily all bad. “If they have kids in common, they have to be in contact,” Tessina says. “If they were together for a long, long time, there’s also some reason for contact.” But if neither situation applies, and he still won’t stop talking to his ex, you should initiate a conversation about her – carefully. “What you don’t want to do is set yourself up against his ex,” says Tessina. Here, too, she recommends talking to him about his relationship with his ex, and what he thinks he can do better or differently in your relationship. She also suggests offering to reach out to the ex yourself, but if he’s not up for that – and if he doesn’t seem compelled to change anything about the current situation, even if it’s making you uncomfortable – that’s a major red flag. “I would slow the relationship down immediately [in those circumstances],” she says. “I’d say, ‘I can’t go further if you’re going to have a relationship with somebody that has to be behind my back.’”

Read 5 Signs He’s Not the Guy For You
5. He obsesses over the remnants of the relationship. If he’s always checking her Facebook profile or you catch him poring over old pictures, you could also have a problem. “He’s not finished, he hasn’t done his grieving,” says Tessina. “You have to understand that if you stay in a relationship with him, you’re going to be part of that grieving process.” As Tessina points out, when you’re in a relationship you talk about just about everything. Whether it’s work, friends or family, there’s always something to discuss over dinner, and past relationships should be no different. Let him know you’re open to talking about his exes. Discussing this relationship could help him work through his feelings and move forward – and may even bring the two of you closer together.

If your guy hasn’t completely let go of his ex, proceed with caution – but know that your relationship isn’t necessarily a lost cause. He may want to be with you, but needs just a bit more time to deal with his breakup. The key to making it work is both of you being willing to talk openly about his old relationship and his feelings about his ex. And if, when all is said and done, he just can't let go, you may have to be the one who moves on.


* BettyConfidential.com, on Mon Apr 12, 2010 5:00am PDT.

Are You A Lazy Lover?

I found this article when I’m too busy browsing the net. I think that this could help you give some ideas or maybe recognize yourself in someway if you really do belong in the world of lazy lovers. Hahah! Check this out!

Because sex involves interaction with other human beings, it will come as no surprise that we don't always treat one another well in bed.

Human beings are assailed by bad habits and selfish behavior in every area of life. When it comes to sex, sometimes we just get lazy.

Do you recognize yourself below? If so, you may be sexually lazy.

The Me, Me, Me Lover

Sometimes it can be exciting when one person kicks back and lets another give them pleasure. But all the time? If one partner dominates in a relationship, the temptation might be to dominate in bed as well, calling the shots and determining every move. Whatever form it takes, sex is a two-way street where both participants need to decide what is going to be served on the "love menu" on any particular night.

The Only On Saturday Lover

I think there are many benefits to keeping a regular schedule but it can also lead to a stale love life. The danger for many busy people is that the weekend is the only time they indulge in personal pleasure.

Sex can become relegated to Saturday night in the way that laundry is saved for Sunday afternoon. Whenever sex happens, it should not be a chore. Try changing up the sex schedule to break your routine.

The Wait For It Lover

It would be wonderful if we could read one another's minds in a relationship and know the perfect moment for sex. But, generally, one person needs to instigate romance, and it is easy for that task to always fall on the same person.

It is much fairer, and more exciting, if both partners in a relationship initiate sex from time to time. Aside from fairness, more equality in this area helps to create variety, as we all have different times and places we find exciting.

The Not In The Mood Lover

Sexual excitement doesn't always just happen. If we wait until we are fully revved-up to initiate sex in a relationship, it may never happen.

There are a variety of ways to help your partner become excited or to get turned-on yourself. But if we shut down the possibility of sex unless our mood is perfect, we lose the opportunity for real interaction in our relationships. Not in the mood? Maybe you will be in 15 minutes if you give it a try!

Sex is a wonderful gift that can help us stay physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy. But like all health matters, sex requires work. So don't be a lazy lover!


The Principles
by Patrick Moore
Posted Thu, Feb 21, 2008