If only I have the guts to tell a friend what’s really happening, I would. If only I have the courage to say how I’m feeling with my life this time, I’ll never hesitate to sit beside her and tell the story for a time.
I’m so confuse with life this time. Feeling bored, lost and so down that I’m loosing my self-esteem once again. Everyday that I seem to get up from bed is a hard time for me. I encounter laziness and always saying hello to boredom. What a day! I didn’t even think of something new that will make my morning better and for the rest of the day, rather I saw sadness.
There is something bothering me, I know… and something is wrong with me. I used to ask myself if I’m ok… I say “yes” but deep down I know I’m not. I know there is something wrong. I can figure it out but I refuse those reasons. Nothing is motivating me at all to live with this simple life. I want to move out, to look forward for a better life beyond those stupid things that just happened to me. I rely on a bottle of beers before I can go to sleep. This isn’t normal I know. This is wrong. But this is just the way I can set myself for a good sleep. It’s hard to simply deal with life if you’re in denial of something that you feel. I can barely smile, but I can’t deny the real emotions that I have inside. I’m not happy. I’m no longer comfortable in a world that I’m moving in.
I want something new; I want something that would change my life. Something that I can tell that life is not full of shit. I know there is huge good thing ahead of me. I hope I can still wait. I’m asking patience to stay longer. I don’t wanna see the time ending my life out of nothing, again.
